I will miss you...

I have been called to cross borders to share God's love and His goodness with others.  I have been asked to lead new souls to salvation.  I am being obedient---

But not without a huge hole in my heart for those I leave here for the week.  

I just tucked my angels in tight.  There were LOTS and LOTS of tears.  I held them super tight and for much longer than the normal bedtime. I sang a few more songs as I bounced the beds while they cried themselves to sleep.  I nuzzled my nose down into their necks and took a long breath in to savor their sweet, unique smells.  I held each of their beautiful faces in my hands and looked deep into their brown, green and blue eyes and told them just how very much I love them.  I whispered to them how grateful I am to be chosen as their mommy and how each day brought me more and more reasons why.  Each one of them are so unique.  But each one of them have my complete heart.  My days will be so vastly different this week without them.  I have done all I can to leave my presence here with them~and to bring each of theirs with me.  I miss them already and I haven't left these four, secure walls yet. 

Waiting~~3:00 a.m. seems so far, yet so near.  I feel the void.  I feel lost.  

I trust my God will fill it up quickly with the mission.  He asked me to step out.  He will be faithful in the reward.  I already have been blown away by the love and kindness those surrounding me have poured out to help hold me up.  Treasures I will hang onto for a lifetime.  And, as I said, I haven't left yet.  I can't begin to imagine how different I will be when I return.   Uniquely stamped with memories of Jesus's face within my week.  This halts the tears for a moment.  Excitement will set in soon.  My void will be filled with His passion for this mission.  

When I wrestled with God about taking this leap of faith, I distinctly remember telling Him that I had no desire to cross oceans to reach people when I didn't feel I was serving as I should in my own back door.  Well, that's a story for another time but in just one week, my mind was blown with the opportunities of perspective and getting my hands dirty with those whose needs are great right here in my town.  The self focus fell quickly as faces were imprinted on my heart that week and every week after of hearts who need Him.  I love the direction He is carrying me in.  I cherish how much I have grown in Him since I committed to this leap of faith.  My prayers have changed, my thoughts stay glued to Him, my faith is growing.  My topic of teaching on the island is "Moving God's word from your Head to your Heart."  I will be learning as much as I teach.  Again, excitement.  I feel ill-equipped in my own strength but in His power, I believe His love will flood this island.  

The girls and I did a quick craft this afternoon.  I told them that this is similar to what we will do with the children during Church while away.  So, that the sweet little souls we touch will forever have our handprints as a reminder of God's love for them.  And, that they would see their handprints within ours.  Because they each one will leave an impression on us that will send us home different too.  

So, I left my handprint for my girls.  I tucked each of their handprints inside my own.   I will carry one with me and leave one here.  We WILL survive this separation!!   But, not without changing in the process.  I pray the change is great!  Closer and closer into the image of Christ for each member of my family. 

 I love you precious girls!  Mommy is counting the days, hours and minutes...it won't be long.  

January...how quickly you rolled around again!!

It's true!...  

Time flies, especially the older I get.  Since Christmas break started only a few days before actual Christmas, the majority of this vacation has taken place post-Christmas.  And, it has been way more enjoyable than I had first thought it would be.  It helped to make it feel like time slowed down.  We took a much slower pace than normal.  And, we are just hoping since there wasn't enough snow to actually get a "snow"day that maybe the "coldness" of being 5 degrees will gain us one more extra day of Christmas Vacation before we get back into full swing of life again.  

Anna Grace, you discovered the miracle of snowflakes today when you spotted a few flakes that kept their shapes as they landed on the outdoor table.  I don't think I have ever actually seen a snowflake that held the shape like these.  Thank you for using your childlike eyes to show me one of God's sweet gifts that in my "grown up, too cold to be out here mindset," I rushed right by! 

It rained quite a bit after Christmas.  However, we didn't let it steal a night out with some cherished friends that we feel have been an actual "regift" to us this year!   I just love how God implants the deepness he knows our human hearts yearn for.  

Ringing in the New Year was different this year---but turned out God gave us a sweet reminder of His protection and love for us as we were driving and blew a tire on the interstate.  Daddy and I were truly humbled and used the escape together to not just enjoy one another but to truly wash away last year and ring in the new one with our loving Father and His deep love for our family in mind.  

We got a late start so just threw clothes in a bag without showering and made a detour on the drive to Athens, where it all began.  We decided to skip Reynolds Plantation the first night of our trip and party in the town were we first fell in love.  It was hilarious and comforting all in the same.  We have come so far yet we still are aware of why we started the journey to begin with.  Life, in general, can easily drain that part right out of the story.  The glimpse of it was surreal.  

Then, after a night of pure fun, we headed to Reynolds to soak in the beautiful surroundings and be really, really lazy.  Did I mention we were lazy.  Just thinking of it makes me feel rested again right now.  I miss the constant smell of fires through out the property.  And the food, oh, it was so yummy!!

 Our sweet ballerina and her Doll!!  

The new American Girl is a ballerina and Anna Grace couldn't wait to use her Christmas cards to get her all for herself.  She has played with her nonstop since we brought her home.  I am thankful that 10 years old doesn't bring the "I am too grown up to do that stuff" attitude.  I am enjoying sneaking around and witnessing sweet moments of my big girl and her doll.  

 Daddy was surprised with his first trip to the AG store too.  The yummy food caught him off guard and I think we can all say we very much enjoyed the dessert sundae big enough for us to practically swim in!

NOW, for a little splurging~~

Two major things I said I would never do....I have done and I couldn't be more thrilled about either of them.  First, the trampoline.  LOVE it!  The girls get so much "stuff" out on there.  It has helped with getting along through out the break from school and activities.  It gets them in the fresh air.  Period, I am just thankful for it.

And, for the iMac.   Uhmmmm, heavenly!  I have been afraid for years to actually take the plunge and turn over completely to Apple.  It is so easy and everything for work just switched over so smoothly to it.  I have a lot to learn still for sure.  But even doing this little blog entry, was so much simple on the mac.  

January, you have only just begun but the calendar is full of so many more things you hold for our family.  Some are brand new adventures.  Praying God's will and Grace will follow us through this year!