I am a Mom.
It is a title I cherish.
Don't get me wrong, I adore being a wife, daughter, friend, sister...
but being a mom is a job I spent 25 years dreaming of. Funny cause I am not near as good as it as I thought I would be. But, thankfully, I have a Savior and, also, married a man who overcomes when I fall flat on my face.
Yes...I yell. I say "please don't say MOM again for the next 5 minutes." I tell them all to sit in their rooms for a few minutes so I can run to hide.
BUT, I pray the moments I am not drowning in failure are overcome with overwhelming love and grace that covers all.
A fellow mom in my community did an interview blog and kindly asked me to participate. I am adding my answers here just so my sweet girls will one day have a record of them. Feel free to skip over them because they are long. Once I started asking God to help me exam my heart as a momma, He flooded me with emotions, answers, suggestions and challenges. It just didn't seem right to cut Him off when He was working on my heart as I was writing. This interview may not make a hill of beans to another soul on this green Earth, but me and my God, we bonded deeper during it and my "motherhood" journey was blessed by examining my strengths and weaknesses.
(here is where you can feel free to skip to the more fun photos)
1. Why do you value/love being a mom?
I remember so many days as a child daydreaming of being a mom. Well into my tween years, I would rock baby dolls and sing lullabies to my favorite porcelain, life-like replicas of sweet little ones. As wonderful as I dreamed it would be, nothing comes close to the tiny, real-life voices that have cried “mommy” over the last 11 years. The little souls God has blessed me with have not only caused my dreams to come true but have placed me face to face with some of my greatest fears. I have felt love like I never knew existed, spent many a nights in prayers that far outlast the minutes of sleep and held tight to moments that I was sure could not ever be better. However, each and every phase with the miracles I was given becomes greater than the one before. Not only do I get to watch God do a mighty work in their hearts, I also change more and more into the one Christ died for me to be just simply by walking out this blessed journey of motherhood.
2. What do you most hope to accomplish as a mom?
I pray I am bringing up girls who have hearts on fire for wisdom and truth, souls that come alive by the slightest whisper of their Savior and an everlasting, overwhelming desire to please the One who makes them completely beautiful in midst of a broken world.
3. If you were in front of a room full of single moms, what one thing would you like to say to them?
Please surround yourself with a support group for you as a mom AND for you as a “girl.” Plug into resources where help is offered for childcare because you cannot possibly be it ALL by yourself. Ask God to provide others to come stand beside you and love your littles like their very own. Don’t be afraid to allow them to help-it in NO way shows a weakness in you but, rather a strength and maturity well beyond your own doing. Other Christian moms who are in your same phase and the stages ahead and behind you will be one of the greatest treasures on your walk as a mommy. I can’t even begin to explain to you what a late night coke and cookie break at our local CFA does for my heart and how I am a better mommy because of it (both the conversation of truth, failures, successes, and, of course, the sugar too :-) contribute to a fresh perspective.
4. What encouragement/advice would you give to moms who are a few years behind you?
I would strongly encourage them to put intentional thought and effort into finding complete enjoyment in the present and cherish each moment before it quickly passes by. As simple as it seems to type this out, we all know that the reality of finding joy in the midst of the distractions that the world throws at us (both good and bad)can be extremely difficult. I have found that by setting aside time to journal and reflect multiple times a week allows my mind time to settle in on the most recent mommy moments. Which brings me to my number one piece of advice…FORGIVE yourself! Real life is not all picture perfect. Reflecting over the good and the ugly offers us a chance to practice grace for ourselves and humility in front of our Savior. Through out the thick and thin, lay at His feet and allow Him to mold you into the mother we all long to be.
5. When you are "on empty", how do you recharge? What do you do? Where do you go?
Don’t we all just need a minute sometimes? Who am I kidding, most days I need more like 30 minutes at least of “just me” time. I find that when my mind is racing way faster than my body can keep up the only relief comes in prayer and running. For two main reasons, this is where I can revamp: I have to leave it all behind and run forward and my hands can no longer find work so my heart gets a moment to play catch up. I plug up my ears with praise music and I cry out to the One above while my feet carry me along. As strange as it sounds to some, this settles me from the inside out. I would be untruthful I didn’t also tell you that I LOVE an afternoon nap in my favorite chair or on my pallet swing under the porch! I am not beneath just shutting myself down completely! Then, for extreme measures there is always setting aside time for a much needed date night or a run through the Good Will or Ross with one of the precious souls in my life who know my heart’s deepest prayer simply by the look on my face.
6. What is something you find difficult/challenging about motherhood?
Scheduling is one of my biggest pit falls as a mom of multiples. I try to do too much for too many in too little time. The fact that in nature, I am a late person just doesn’t help matters much. I don’t have any advice on this but, thankfully, I married a very early person who scoops in an saves me quite often. Just one of the many reasons I adore the partner God placed by my side.
In all seriousness, I struggle with the fear of failure as a mom. I allow the enemy to twist my perception into defeat when I know in truth that the hearts of my girls belong to my God who already has a will and call on their lives. I have to repeatedly remind myself that these little angels who call me “mom” are simply on loan to me. Ultimately, they have a Heavenly Father that can never be defeated!
7. What moments make you smile….give you the most satisfaction?
Nothing makes my heart jump like when I see one of my girls live out the Holy Word of God before my eyes. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE late night of baby snuggles, slobbery kisses and huge bear hugs as much as the next momma. But, as my girls are growing, there is just nothing sweeter than watching the Holy Spirit press in conviction on their hearts and in their own willingness stand in awe to watch as they turn away from the fleshly desires before them. It’s a reality show of the great power of the Truth! I enjoying cheering them on in their victories and holding them tight in their defeats. Because, see, we don’t always come out on top and the true pruning of the heart actually happens in the “fall”. I am honored to wipe tears and help them stumble through prayers of forgiveness when the victory line isn’t drawn in our favor. I still learn these lessons alongside them most days and, for me, that makes me smile.
8. Brag on your baby. Tell me one quality you love or admire in each of your children?
I love these girls beyond measure. I can find a way to brag on them in just about any situation so I will keep this short, sweet and continue praying that the lives that they live will be the biggest “brag book.”
Anna Gracynn~My first born is gentle, mild, has a filter for right and wrong that makes her own momma envious and a yearning to please that blesses, as well as, frightens me. Watching her spill out her sweet heart while performing ballet, makes me squawl like the first time I held her little burrito-wrapped self in my arms on that November football Saturday 11 years ago. Her bright blue eyes stare back at me with such kindness and peace while her giggle, once started, is hard to shut off. I just love her, period.
Ailee Claire~As a friend told me this week, this middle child of mine is a version of myself that I sometimes deny. She has a fire in her that will light up a room, she is a fighter and, yet, she has a gentleness and deep, genuine love for those surrounding her. Ailee likes to push herself to perfection. She likes to pour herself out for the pleasure of making others smile. She is a replica of my grandmother, her namesake, Aileen. Sometimes after I tuck her in at night, I lay beside her and laugh in my heart with my Granny in heaven about all the ways she is just like her while begging for clues at unlocking her mysterious, beautiful soul.
Adelynn McCall~she is the baby of the family, our cherry on top! She isn’t the typical baby in the fact that she needs everyone and everything to cater to her. She has always strived to shorten the gap between she and her sisters by catching up with them in activities and accomplishments. I used to force her to slow down but now I can see the joy she experiences in reaching her little goals. Her free spirit, loving mannerisms and fire for life is contagious. Adelynn makes our lives sweeter, more hysterical and, as simple as it sounds, complete.
Today, was one of those days where over scheduling was unavoidable. Our Baby A was supposed to play in her last soccer game, compete in her end of season rec gym meet and perform her ballet/tap recital. Of course, I am her mom so I will be modest and tell you "she Rocked them all!" Hehehe
this girl hustles.
she is not afraid to take her turn shuffling the ball. she got height today in many of her kicks. i know she says gymnastics is her favorite thing, but trust me, i know she hasn't left her final mark on the soccer field. she'll be back...
and, she scores! there's coach and there's Dad~in this case, both are equally as proud
it was a cry out to the Ultimate Coach to pour favor on the lives of these precious kids.
i couldn't see through the lens cause tears filled my eyes. these are God's special warriors! It's WAY more than a game.
i will agree with your thinking. they are small, preschool age kids. most days at the start it was a lot like herding cats. however, they came out ALL scoring goals, hustling like a fire was coming and cheering on their fellow teammates like it was the final four (maybe that's basketball, cut me some slack, i'm just a ballerina at most)
.... just cause these two are kindred spirits. nothing separates them when they are close enough to embrace. it blesses me. this oldest girl of mine is a nurturer by the grace of God. wow, watching her mother her very own one day may more be more than i can take. she's pours out love like a fountain. i love getting soak by it daily.
take two... gymnastics~strong, graceful, confident, disciplined
they begged to spend their own money to lavish her with goodies. being the "little" sometimes pays off. I have never seen bigger supporters. they truly wanted her to shine. even if it took some sparkle off of their own accomplishments. THAT, in itself, is the greatest mother's day gift i have ever received.
they all came from me and my man. the same genes. SOOOOO vastly different, yet equally amazing.
she will forever be my baby
this may be her last recital, then again, she's only 6. whatever the outcome, she's gorgeous to her momma. i will screenshot this photo on my heart.
these two are sweet friends and they are pretty stinkin cute too
she wasn't told to do a thing for her sister...but, she gave her some candy, a leotard, $5.00 from her savings, a bracelet and THIS. what she didn't realize though is that this meant WAY more to me than it probably did to her little sis. it's already tucked in tightly in my special mommy keepsake trunk. it showcases a heart of gold to me. a selfless act of love for another
...and, it's a wrap! she completed all three of her end of year activities within a few short hours. she gets to choose her most favorite for next year. i guess we can all see what won out
#sleepingwithhermedal
......today, i have settled. I have found peace and some moments of restful happy.
each day as a mother is beyond my wildest dreams
(sometimes in the best way possible and sometimes it doesn't even come close to my worst nightmare. like yesterday, whew, CANNOT even think about it without getting sick to my stomach)
BUT one thing I know is true...
God NEVER abandons me or mine. We are cradled safe in His almighty arms.
So, here I will rest secure...a mom full of failures but overcome by the amazing grace of the cross.
~Happiest of Mother's Day to all~
mande
mande
