Happy Birthday to the center of our home...Literally!

 Ailee Claire~

It's flown by!!  You're 8 already!  I have stand amazed at all you have done this past year.  You have surely blown mommy and daddy away with your sudden determination and maturity!!  

You set your mind to some REALLY big goals.  And, you didn't let yourself down!!  

The level of skill you showed through your hard work in gymnastics was such fun to watch as the progress was made from the newest member of the team to a shining gem who worked harder than I ever dreamed you would.  You have such depth and love all summed up in your little 8 year old body.  I thank God everyday that you are my middle daughter.  That you don't fit the mold of "the middle child" one bit.  I am so extremely honored to be chosen as your mommy.  And, gymnastics barely even makes the list of whys.  You have always had such a heart for others and loved on even the most difficult of people.  You truly shine with a heart of Christ.  For that, no parent could ever be more proud.

I love you, Sunshine.  Who knew when I nicknamed you that as a baby, that you would surely shine a light of love and joy into our family that never grows dim.  

A great example of your selflessness is you birthday wishes for this year.  You wanted to go to a gym camp with your Daddy as your gift.  You wanted to attend a gymdawgs meet with a sweet, sweet friend.  You wanted to bake your own cake and have a pj dinner with your family.  That's what your birthday "party" dream was this year.  I will admit that I love to throw a fun birthday party!  But the reason I do is so that each of you girls know just how special the day you entered my life was to me.  I would spend hours creating the most special celebration ever just to signify your important entrance into my life.  But, this year, your dream was simple.  It was just about us as a family.  Again, you non-selfish ways amaze me.  I have so much to learn from you, beautiful girl!!  

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ailee Claire~

 

 Two of your favorite gymnasts ever--your big sister at the gym, Julia...

and, Lindsey Cheek, your gymdogs coach at the clinic you attended.   

You were so very happy that day!

 

 Your actual birthday was the last snow day of the week and mommy and daddy had just gotten home from a mission trip and work.  Mimi and Granddaddy had kept you all week so all you wanted for your special day with time as a family, just us!  I loved every single second of it!!!

 Your yummy masterpiece and your State CHAMP leo and medals.  Three state first place winnings completed your season this year.  WOW! 

SISTERS, what greater gift?

We all adore you...thank you for all you bring into our lives each and every day.

I will miss you...

I have been called to cross borders to share God's love and His goodness with others.  I have been asked to lead new souls to salvation.  I am being obedient---

But not without a huge hole in my heart for those I leave here for the week.  

I just tucked my angels in tight.  There were LOTS and LOTS of tears.  I held them super tight and for much longer than the normal bedtime. I sang a few more songs as I bounced the beds while they cried themselves to sleep.  I nuzzled my nose down into their necks and took a long breath in to savor their sweet, unique smells.  I held each of their beautiful faces in my hands and looked deep into their brown, green and blue eyes and told them just how very much I love them.  I whispered to them how grateful I am to be chosen as their mommy and how each day brought me more and more reasons why.  Each one of them are so unique.  But each one of them have my complete heart.  My days will be so vastly different this week without them.  I have done all I can to leave my presence here with them~and to bring each of theirs with me.  I miss them already and I haven't left these four, secure walls yet. 

Waiting~~3:00 a.m. seems so far, yet so near.  I feel the void.  I feel lost.  

I trust my God will fill it up quickly with the mission.  He asked me to step out.  He will be faithful in the reward.  I already have been blown away by the love and kindness those surrounding me have poured out to help hold me up.  Treasures I will hang onto for a lifetime.  And, as I said, I haven't left yet.  I can't begin to imagine how different I will be when I return.   Uniquely stamped with memories of Jesus's face within my week.  This halts the tears for a moment.  Excitement will set in soon.  My void will be filled with His passion for this mission.  

When I wrestled with God about taking this leap of faith, I distinctly remember telling Him that I had no desire to cross oceans to reach people when I didn't feel I was serving as I should in my own back door.  Well, that's a story for another time but in just one week, my mind was blown with the opportunities of perspective and getting my hands dirty with those whose needs are great right here in my town.  The self focus fell quickly as faces were imprinted on my heart that week and every week after of hearts who need Him.  I love the direction He is carrying me in.  I cherish how much I have grown in Him since I committed to this leap of faith.  My prayers have changed, my thoughts stay glued to Him, my faith is growing.  My topic of teaching on the island is "Moving God's word from your Head to your Heart."  I will be learning as much as I teach.  Again, excitement.  I feel ill-equipped in my own strength but in His power, I believe His love will flood this island.  

The girls and I did a quick craft this afternoon.  I told them that this is similar to what we will do with the children during Church while away.  So, that the sweet little souls we touch will forever have our handprints as a reminder of God's love for them.  And, that they would see their handprints within ours.  Because they each one will leave an impression on us that will send us home different too.  

So, I left my handprint for my girls.  I tucked each of their handprints inside my own.   I will carry one with me and leave one here.  We WILL survive this separation!!   But, not without changing in the process.  I pray the change is great!  Closer and closer into the image of Christ for each member of my family. 

 I love you precious girls!  Mommy is counting the days, hours and minutes...it won't be long.  

January...how quickly you rolled around again!!

It's true!...  

Time flies, especially the older I get.  Since Christmas break started only a few days before actual Christmas, the majority of this vacation has taken place post-Christmas.  And, it has been way more enjoyable than I had first thought it would be.  It helped to make it feel like time slowed down.  We took a much slower pace than normal.  And, we are just hoping since there wasn't enough snow to actually get a "snow"day that maybe the "coldness" of being 5 degrees will gain us one more extra day of Christmas Vacation before we get back into full swing of life again.  

Anna Grace, you discovered the miracle of snowflakes today when you spotted a few flakes that kept their shapes as they landed on the outdoor table.  I don't think I have ever actually seen a snowflake that held the shape like these.  Thank you for using your childlike eyes to show me one of God's sweet gifts that in my "grown up, too cold to be out here mindset," I rushed right by! 

It rained quite a bit after Christmas.  However, we didn't let it steal a night out with some cherished friends that we feel have been an actual "regift" to us this year!   I just love how God implants the deepness he knows our human hearts yearn for.  

Ringing in the New Year was different this year---but turned out God gave us a sweet reminder of His protection and love for us as we were driving and blew a tire on the interstate.  Daddy and I were truly humbled and used the escape together to not just enjoy one another but to truly wash away last year and ring in the new one with our loving Father and His deep love for our family in mind.  

We got a late start so just threw clothes in a bag without showering and made a detour on the drive to Athens, where it all began.  We decided to skip Reynolds Plantation the first night of our trip and party in the town were we first fell in love.  It was hilarious and comforting all in the same.  We have come so far yet we still are aware of why we started the journey to begin with.  Life, in general, can easily drain that part right out of the story.  The glimpse of it was surreal.  

Then, after a night of pure fun, we headed to Reynolds to soak in the beautiful surroundings and be really, really lazy.  Did I mention we were lazy.  Just thinking of it makes me feel rested again right now.  I miss the constant smell of fires through out the property.  And the food, oh, it was so yummy!!

 Our sweet ballerina and her Doll!!  

The new American Girl is a ballerina and Anna Grace couldn't wait to use her Christmas cards to get her all for herself.  She has played with her nonstop since we brought her home.  I am thankful that 10 years old doesn't bring the "I am too grown up to do that stuff" attitude.  I am enjoying sneaking around and witnessing sweet moments of my big girl and her doll.  

 Daddy was surprised with his first trip to the AG store too.  The yummy food caught him off guard and I think we can all say we very much enjoyed the dessert sundae big enough for us to practically swim in!

NOW, for a little splurging~~

Two major things I said I would never do....I have done and I couldn't be more thrilled about either of them.  First, the trampoline.  LOVE it!  The girls get so much "stuff" out on there.  It has helped with getting along through out the break from school and activities.  It gets them in the fresh air.  Period, I am just thankful for it.

And, for the iMac.   Uhmmmm, heavenly!  I have been afraid for years to actually take the plunge and turn over completely to Apple.  It is so easy and everything for work just switched over so smoothly to it.  I have a lot to learn still for sure.  But even doing this little blog entry, was so much simple on the mac.  

January, you have only just begun but the calendar is full of so many more things you hold for our family.  Some are brand new adventures.  Praying God's will and Grace will follow us through this year!  

THE "story"...

This time of year~~it's the remembrance of the start of the story. 

THE story that weaves into lives and creates who we are, how we live.  We are blessed to have been shared the story....to have been told how God became a man and how He himself bore OUR sin and death.  

This is no special day....I am monogramming gifts.  I unloaded the dishwasher.  I fed my children.  I swept the floor.  I went to church, yet that in itself, made my day extraordinary.  I adore my church family.  Each of them have a story---one that bears both great victory and pain.  Some share it verbally, some just wear it in their smiles. Each one of them challenge me.  They create for me a much more real view of why Christ came.  Love that goes beyond the blood of family and into the lives of those I am blessed to call friends.  

God is stretching me right now to share His story in a new way.  I have prayed and pondered and listened.  (and honestly tried to wiggle my way out from underneath the call).  But, today when Pastor Jeremy said to "share the story," I knew exactly what God had on my plate. I am still unaware of how that will look or play out in the days/years ahead.  But, I saw a glimpse into another great chapter of His story that continues to take place through me.  I am grateful.  I am terrified.  I am standing with what feels weak but I have faith He will make strong.  

Through a season of life for the past couple of years, I lost part of the girl I was meant to be.  This past week, I saw and felt glimpses of her again.  I slowed down the pace of life and peeked at life through a different lens.  It was surreal.  I am so grateful to those who are digging that ole gal back out again.  

Each Christmas we try to do at least one very special weekend/evening getaway with just our family of 5.  We have had some pretty exciting memories over the past 10 years.  This year, we are creating those special memories at home, taking things at a different pace, basking in the season from the warmth of our own four walls.  Our lives this Fall have been busy---whole bunches of fun but BUSY!!  So, this special season, we are cutting back.  Saying no to things that seem so inviting, yet we have found nothing is as entertaining to us this year as snuggling one another by a warm fire in the glow of our lights while watching an old Christmas movie.  Ailee just said last week, "It's like the same day keeps happening over and over again."  And Anna Grace responded with, "And, its the best day ever!"  I think we all need a break~~~the chance to find who we were designed to be again.  

A simple pause to find how He has weaved His story into each of our own.  

Enjoy my Christmas Angels...

  

 

 

A woman of rest...

This blog has been put on hold lately.  Despite my best intentions to keep the family journal/scrapbook via blog yearbooks ongoing, I honestly just got over committed last December.  So, I am playing catch up and adding events from previous months.  But, at the same time, I plan to start journaling the present too.  God is doing some major molding and revamping of my heart and it just helps to get it all out sometimes!  I hope one day you girls can see the ways God works through the "ordinary" by reading my non-formal vomiting of feelings on here every once and a while.  And, non of it is genius or rocket science~so just try to have patience with me!

 

The past couple of weeks of adjusting from summer, lazy fun-filled days to fully packed, don't waste a minute days of school and activities has mommy really squirming under the pressure.  Adelynn, you are in school now five mornings a week and so I have some time to think (maybe too much).  God is teaching me some lessons about going into battle lately.  This is a somewhat simple revelation but in the midst of my current circumstance, it felt like a huge victory!

REST~~~
That's been a reoccurring topic God undoubtedly wants me to settle into--

rest of my mind
rest of my soul
rest of my body
rest in my thoughts
rest in my heart
rest in my actions
just overall a woman in REST!

I caught myself crying out to Him that I got the message.  I know I desperately need to rest in the peace that comes from His truth and love.  I just have trouble engaging in the active state of REST.  (and although that might sounds contradictory to some, to me, rest is very much going to be a result of actively choosing it on my part!)  At first anyway, but I have complete faith that soon it will come as natural to me as driving, eating, playing, etc.

So, back to the crying out~~"What do you mean by rest?  Really, I know you know my current calendar and the schedules I am trying to keep up with.  Don't you think I want to REST?  I just can't figure out what you mean exactly."  While I was hoping He was saying "lay down and take a little nap, my beloved Mande"  I knew too well that He was asking me to find rest in the midst of the choas!  To find a stillness in my soul in the midst of my current circumstances of mom of many, wife of one, friend to all, daughter of two, manager of a at home job, volunteer of the less fortunate, servant of church, coordinator and cleaner of the home, landscaper of the yard, and on and on.

Kindly, I was shown a picture of what it would look like this week.  And, as simple as it was...it sent chills across my body to feel and hear His presence ever so real and close to my plea, a supplying of my answer from so many prayers lately.  And, as much as I would have liked it to be a vision of what the "outcome" of this heart change would look like through the completion of certain circumstances, it was actually SO much better!  See, I think rest can only come when a job is finished.  When the work load is over.  I can only feel relief when the crisis is over and I know the outcome.  Otherwise, I settle into the anxiety of analyzing all the different ways it could play out.  Are you getting the picture of why He might be calling me into a place of "rest." 

So, here Adelynn and I were in the hottest part of the day on one of the hottest days this year.  I desperately needed to go for a run to allow my mind some time to "deal."  Running lets me sort of veg-out.  I guess because I am not at home to let my hands find work to get into so my legs just take me somewhere, anywhere and my mind can just follow it's own path.  I loaded her in the stroller with all she might need to take the journey-water, snack, sunglasses, toys, and a few more things she snuck in there.  Off we went.  My praise music going in my ears and my mind found a happy place.  Then, God joined right in step with me.  As Christy Nuckols was singing about coming "out of the ordinary and into the glorious" I felt His glazed fall directly on me.  In the heat, I felt the chills of His awesome presence.  And, He simply said "look down at your girl."  There she laid in the stroller with sunglasses on, sweat dripping down her face, arms limp and in a complete and total state of REST despite and chaos surrounding her.  It was HOT, cars zooming by with loud noises, bumps constantly in the road, the constant voice of her momma as I prayed aloud, speeding up and slowing down and, yet, she was at peace during the "battle."  I was carrying the burden for her--all she had to do was agree to take the ride with me.  And, it hit me right in the heart, instead of trying to find a way out of the "battle,"  if I just with hop in with Him, He will take my burdens (even give me some sunglasses to help block out the devils schemes against me) and rest is possible through it all.  I will be made new through the challenges, I will be molded into more like Christ BUT I must stop squirming in the heat and put on the armor He has given me and start taking one victory at a time.  I don't have to know the route or the destination--the ordinary for me no longer is enough.  He is calling me "into the GLORIOUS" and I am jumping in.  I hope I will showcase the "rest" aspect.  I caught a glimpse of it and now I crave more.  Not depending on my circumstance, but because of the peace offered in spite of it. 

Happy Labor Day weekend!!

A Different Kind of Freedom Celebration...

Rain, Rain GO away~

Well, this july 4th week, it did not go away!  It lingered all week off and on just enough to cause the whole town to cancel all activities.  BUT, not us!  We still had the neighborhood parade which you girls look forward to all summer.  I handed you the bucket of decorations and you just did up your bikes and the golf cart all alone this year.  A new type of FREEDOM in itself!  You girls are growing up---

some days I love it, and some days it's so depressing!

 The England Family July 2013

 It's hard for me to believe that Adelynn can ride alone on her bike and keep up right along side her big sisters.  Actually, come to think about it--that's pretty much been the story of your life, sweet girl.  You are so adaptable and I guess being the 3rd born has just caused you to roll with the punches.

 

Then, mommy and daddy's highlight of the week was getting to spend the evening celebrating America's freedom with some of our most cherished friends!   BBQ, sweets, outlawed fireworks and cornhole made for a pretty fabulous evening despite the rain.  

And, the weekend went on pretty much the same way...

we ventured from house to house with these special families playing dodgeball and kickball in the rain, cooled off in the pool (in the rain), played cards and had yummy dessert (while it rained) and soaked in sweet friendships that we are forever thankful for-BIG and small!  

Guiding our Steps...Ballet Recital 2013

BLESSED~

We are.  No exceptions!  I could go on forever.  I get so giddy just making a mental list in my head of all the countless ways.  But today, I want to focus on this particular blessing---

***Ballet ***

The studio we attend is more than a building that teaches technique and grace.  It lays a foundation for why we perform.  Why we do anything at all rather.  These girls are taught from the minute they step inside the ballet rooms, that they are dancing for God's glory.  The are loved on with God's love from EVERY adult there and their "dance Sisters" show them peer love in this way too.  I just can't express my gratitude for this organization! 

When these girls are dancing~they are worshiping.

And it makes my heart dance too!  

You three girls did a fantastic job and showcased your talents so beautifully.  

Grace is not taught, it is given as a gift from above. 

 

  

Anna Grace and your Timothy 2 girls.  I adore the friendship you all have together.  What a special treat it is each time you show up for class that it is also a time to bond with such godly little tweens! 

 This, my friend, is the Sweetest little cupcake I have ever seen!  I could eat you up, adelynn, with all your cuteness and that precious smile.  You stole the show center-stage with your huge grin and adorable determination to not miss a step.  I think all the drive came from the desire to impress your bis sisters and that you did! 

 I love this photo Ailee because it captures you truly in your moment of worship.  You shined up there with your confidence and strong technique.  I know the road ahead is changing for you but I will support and love you no matter what path you choose to showcase your talents.  Stay true to your God and to yourself and Mommy & Daddy will cheer you on every step of the way. 

 Dear Lord, you have blessed my sweet middle girl with personality and skills that are unique to her and her alone.  Please guide her steps to lead her where you can use these things to better her for your service.  Amen

 My whole world~

You amaze me, Anna Grace, with your constant improvement.  You hit your positions and used all the technique from this years training so wonderfully.  You are a gorgeous ballerina!  I can see it in your heart, as well as, your ability. That's a difference you'll hang onto when push come to shove as the years pass by! 

Thank you for this BLESSING~we are forever grateful!