Jon stayed home from work today and offered to take the girls to school. Of course, this usually makes it easier on me but this morning I felt like I needed to do it... I needed out of this house. I was up all night with two of the girls and extremely tired on top of everything else. Satan was loving whispering all the many discouragements in my ear. I needed an escape. God used this as a perfect time to speak to me and I am SO thankful!
The girls and I began saying our prayers as we usually do on the way to school. They wanted me to go first today and once I started praying it just seemed like their were so many people who needed lifting up right now. I began sobbing as I listed everyone and the tremendous strength they each needed from above. I finished up praying for the girls as they faced their day at school and closed thanking Jesus again for the enormous blessings he has given to us. This is when I heard God so sweetly say to me...the way you are feeling today is a choice. I was choosing to listen to Satan tell me about all the terrible things going on around me instead of listing the goodness God has shown me. So....that is what I did! I began just listing all of my blessings out loud. It made me feel so great! God is GOOD!!!!!
The girls are not used to seeing Jon and I go to our Father in prayer with sadness. I was a little worried about getting so upset with them in the car this morning but then I realized that they need to feel comfortable talking to God whenever no matter how they are feeling. God knows anyway, right? He loves us and wants us to voice to him our struggles. He also used Anna Grace to speak to me this morning. I love how my gift is teaching and working with children when, actually, he uses them as windows for me to understand so much about him. She asked me why I was sad that those people I was praying about had gone to see Jesus. Man was this a hard blow! I was going about this all wrong. Meeting Jesus face to face one day is our goal!!! I should be thanking God for allowing them to be dancing and rejoicing with their Savior. As I explained to her that the sad part was that the people left here were the ones that were sad because they were missing their loved ones, I realized that once again I had a choice to make. The way I viewed the situation allowed me to see it as a painful experience or a blessing! Anna Grace has a friend from church and school who lost her daddy a year and a half ago to cancer. She is very much accustom to Cassidy joyfully talking about her daddy being in Heaven and with Jesus. I find myself looking at her and saying...bless her sweet, little heart. One day, when she is older and really understands, this is will so very hard on her. HELLO...she does really understand. With her childlike faith, Cassidy knows that her daddy is where he always longed to be, with his Father. God calls us to have this same childlike faith but the earth wants us to see only the pain and suffering. However, He understands the grief we endure when losing someone we love so much and this is why He so willingly pours out grace and mercy for us. I am witnessing this through my friend Ashley who lost her baby the day after Christmas to a brain tumor. I cannot imagine how she makes it through one minute much less a day. God grants us peace within our situation that surpasses all understanding. That is why He wants us to lay it all down for Him to carry and we must just rest in His amazing love. Again, this is a choice but a very difficult one to follow through with.
The girls and I began talking about how neat the clouds looked this morning and I just giggled because it felt like God painted the sky this morning as an illustration for my morning lesson. In the middle was one large, dark cloud, so thick and heavy. Circling around it were beautiful rays of sunshine and white fluffy clouds sinking in the most gorgeous shade of blue (like the blue in 2 of my daughter's and my sweet husband's eyes). I was stuck under that dark cloud only choosing to look straight up at it instead at all the love and many blessing surrounding me! Again, I began claiming my blessings out loud and thanking God for each one big and small!
This photo taken by http://www.519photography.com/ during a Christmas party shows three of my greatest blessings...2 of my precious daughters and the adorable, sweet friendship that they share with one another is a wonderful blessing, as well. It makes me smile when I see the strong bond they are forming as sisters. I cannot wait to see them letting little Adelynn in on all the fun!
1 comment:
I always enjoy reading your blogs. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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