Growing Up...Learning to Dance

Last week, I began a new bible study with the sweet ladies from my church. I was quickly reminded how much I missed out on while staying home with Adelynn for a few months and skipping the last study. Actually, Satan was working really hard at keeping me out of the study yet one more week. That morning was the day I learned that we may be facing some health issues with our adorable baby girl. I wanted to run straight to the doctor and scream for help. Luckily, Dr. Young didn't get in that morning until after 10:00. This allowed me just enough time to join with my friends and call on the only one with true answers, my Sweet Savior. God's timing was perfect because if I had been slammed with the news any other day, I would have been a true basketcase. However, the minute I walked in the door these sweet women began praying over me and Adelynn, loving on us and offering every type of support and comfort. It was exactly what I needed to walk me through such a difficult morning. And, we still do not know the reasoning behind why our precious angel is so small and not gaining weight but I have been able to cope while going through this struggle because of the amazing people God has surrounded me with.

As I explained in the previous blog entry, the past week or so has brought a lot of saddness and disappointments and, so far, things have not slowed down any. We had another friend have a heartattack last night, my Pappaw is becoming more and more ill, we learned of Adelynn's problems, Aunt Beth's Daddy gave up the fight and went to be with Jesus, and Ailee accidently flooded the house today as her Daddy was headed for N.C. and mommy was all alone with my three girls and a friend over to play. PERFECT!!!

Actually, I guess it really is in a way. The study we began last week was called When Wallflowers Dance by Angela Thomas. The study focuses on growing up in your salvation and being the woman God is calling you to be by stepping out. I strongly feel that is God asking me to grow up in my salvation by learning to trust him and turning over the controls to him. And for someone with OCD like me, that is very difficult. I inherited the worrying gene very honest and it is a hard habit to break. As I watched my kitchen ceiling pouring water from the upstairs bathroom, I just began to laugh out loud. It was out of my hands... everything around me was spinning more and more out of control. What is left for me to do but fall on my knees and beg for help. I must pass all of this worry and concern off to Him and rest. And I must say, it felt really good to laugh today. Even if it was while water hit me in the head as my kitchen ceiling puddled up with water. When Ailee rolled her bottom lip out and said "Mommy, Mommy! How are we going to get all that water up, I am sorry, I am sorry," I knew something bad must have happened.

He is drawing me in and preparing to grow me up. I am ready...Let's dance!

As I learned that my little baby may be literally starving, I entered the bible study and was greeted with a pink flower, tied with a sweet bow and reading this verse...

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3

I had spent the day before claiming all the ways the Lord has been good to me even during my time of struggles and disappointments. I have tasted many times over and over how He is good and it has left me craving more and more of a relationship with Him. Just as I am drowning my sweet baby in milk this week trying to pack on the calories and fatten her up, I feel my God is pouring down on me so that I may turn to Him for spiritual nourishment and He can begin "growing me up!"